conversations

Some people 'come and go' from our lives and some are closer at certain times like when you live nearby to each other or you share a common life event. My connections with people play a really important part of my life. In fact, my relationships are the most important part of my life. They have sustained me through some incredibly challenging times. They have also given me so much joy. My relationships have expanded my mind. Talking with people, about what matters to them, about what makes them 'tick,' what they've been through - their struggles and triumphs - is something I find fascinating. We have a lot to learn from others.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I do like an in depth conversation - and don't shy away from controversial issues. A good conversation, to me, is like a drug. I am always left wanting more!

I was listening to a podcast as I travelled home from the south coast yesterday (one of Richard Fidler's "Conversations") and the observation was made that when we 'listen' to someone, we filter through information based on our own experiences/knowledge/beliefs and often reflect it back to the person through this filter.

When I was studying teaching at uni my major was Counselling Studies which was advertised as a diluted Psychology major. Much of the unit was spent practicing active listening. I learned very quickly that counselling isn't about offering a person advice or solutions and this is how the role of the counsellor differs so much from the role of a friend. The conversation between counsellor and patient is a very deliberate, guided one. If a friend used counselling techniques during a conversation it would feel really unnatural and pretty frustrating. I guess I've always been really interested in the interactions between people and people's struggles and this lead me to choose the counselling major. 

When I was four, at playgroup, I met a family. Who knows what was said between us little-uns but we remain friends, twenty-six years later. Over the weekend I stayed with the eldest of the family's four children and his wife (who I went to high school with) and their two beautiful children. There's a lot to be said for sustaining long-term friendships and kicking off a conversation where you left it a month ago... or months ago. There's comfort in knowing you don't have to start again with old friends. They know who you are and what you believe.

So, over the weekend, while our children played, there were cups of tea. There was discussion about gardening, life's everyday challenges, raising children, our families, cooking, preserving foods - all the usual 'stuff.' We cooked. We talked. We drank and we ate. And it was great.

  

In between conversations we managed to devour this pav (recipe here) I whipped up - laiden with 

sweet local passionfruit, local strawberries & cream.